tv and pie.

I think my recent downward spiral into a life filled with too much junk food, too much tv, and little self control has caused me to be even further engrossed into the series Mad Men. I mean for those of you who haven’t heard of the AMC super show, its a show about the lifestyles of the people who work at a Madison Ave. Ad agency. It is set in the late 50′s early 60′s. And the stylist Katherine Jane Bryant is amazing at nailing the crucial time in woman’s fashions when the circle skirts where becoming pencil skirts, when hemlines where getting shorter, and shirts cut lower. I adore the character of the head secretary Joan Hollaway played by Christina Hendricks, her outfits make her saucy character seem so put together yet at the same time stylish and fashion forward. I love the bold colors and classic silhouettes emphasized with structured coats and bodested* (is this even a word?) dresses. This show has shown me a window into an fabulous era and will definitely affect my choices when it comes to choosing new pieces for my winter wardrobe.

feel good lost.

Sometimes I get caught up in my own narcoticisms. The fact is that lately I have been becoming completely enveloped in them, and the way they have been altering the day to day views of myself. The constant search for perfection has affected everything from how I feel that I am perceived to how I am eating has been growing greater and greater. I don’t know why for each reflection of myself that I find, weather it be in a store window, or in a hallway mirror, that there is always a questioning glance looking back at me. For months I have yet to see a smile, sometimes there is just a sigh. Lately I feel like I should be better, in everything from how I treat people to how I wear my hair. I feel as though this summer has been left to lounging on the couch and working a lot. Yet as you grow older Summers tend to resemble the busiest of Falls. Yet as I reflect on this summer in particular though. I find myself not feeling so bad. This past summer I have learned more about myself than I ever have before, for I have been tugged and tested in situations I have never had to face before. I have had to strip myself of my selfish tendencies (believe me I still cling to some) my stubbornness ( I have some of that left too) and the idea that all I need in life is myself. And the neat part in reflecting is that I realize that those glances into mirrors and into shop windows are met with questioning looks not because of how horribly dressed I think I look, or how lazy I seem, Its because I don’t recognize myself. I have completely and totally transformed, not quite all the way grownup, yet pretty close I think. For awhile there I was holding onto something that truly wasn’t me, now that I have realized this, I think I wont have to question my actions so often. For the person I have been striving to become has appeared. I just wasn’t expecting it so soon.

The fact remains, I have steped into a new chapter of life with the person I love the most. I need to keep my head up and not question my actions, for I shall no longer base my actions upon my fears.

oh so wrong. oh so right.

These past few days i have been in the northwest, specifically Portland. With all the press going about this city and its music scene, quirky charm, and great people it seems sort of obnoxious to write more about it. The nortwest in general has always yeilded a certain auroa of peace and natural beauty. Portland is a city tucked into forested hills, seperated length wise by a large river. I can’t tell you how many bridges connect the halves of the city for I have yet to count, yet the ones I have seen all have been differnt. And every time I cross from one side to the other I spot another, perhaps its just one I have seen yet basked in a differnt light, I wouldn’t be suprised, since when the sun hits the river just right everthing looks all the more beautiful and serene. Portland is a quite place, I don’t here half as many people on the streets each day, nor do I here any people at night. People here seem to know exactly where they are going, unlike the maze of options that is San Francisco, Portland has few, but these few seem to be the best of the best, and well known, for my hostess says that on any given weekend you’ll always see someone you know at the Roxy, or on any give weekday afternoon you’ll know your server at Stumptown coffe.

So far my experiance in this city has been great. I have been in and out of many a bookshop and darling boutique. PDX pop was great and I admire the local bands for coming together in an organized manner, lord knows that that could never happen anywhere else. I wish it could though.

A few of my favorite acts I have seen this past week:

Pwrfl Power

Starfucker

A Weather

JohnnyX and The Groadies

Nurses

I take a club to the jaw like anyone else.

I always fall asleep when I read in my house, I fall asleep faster than I can read a sentance, I stay asleep for hours, and by that time, I have to do other things. So today I tried somthing I havn’t done in a long time and read a book in a cafe. I loved it, I just bought a large pot of tea and a hummus plate and read away. I think I might make this outing a habbit. I want to make posting on this a habbit as well.

This is exactly what it looks like

There’s a Lewis Black routine that I would post a video of if I could find it, but I can’t. It’s basically about how if you watch a music video and it’s what you picture in your head when you listen to the song, you should basically just kill yourself.

Unfortunately, I watched so many music videos over the weekend that were like what I pictured in my head. So many!

The Roots-Rising Up

All I thought about when I heard this song is a party where a bunch of people are breakdancing and then behind them another bunch of people are rapping and singing and playing the drums and whatever. I bet this video was shot over the course of an entire day and they didn’t even know it. They were just kicking it and then a month later, they were like “Holy Shit, we have a music video!”

Ugly Casanova-Things I Don’t Remember

There was a different, less nauseating version of this video released originally, but this one is far superior. This song is both weirdly calming and weirdly disgusting to me at the same time, and I can’t really explain why. Maybe it’s the Cum on the Piano or the Guitar Melody, but the end result is this video being perfect for this song.

The Go! Team-Junior Kickstart

If any song is suited towards epic on-foot chase scenese, it’s this one. If any song was also suited towards epic Pac-Man chase scenes, it would be this one.

Chris Rock-No Sex

There is absolutely no sex in the Champagne Room

Groin Injury? Really?

Watching the first few seasons of Saturday Night Live is a strange experience. Every time they make a joke about John Belushi being a crazy guy in real life or mock Chevy Chase by saying his career will bomb after he leaves next year I just want to yell at them all of the things I know, since I’m in the future. Unfortunatly, my voice doesn’t carry back to 1976, though I wish it would. Gerald Ford is going to lose to Jimmy Carter! Then we’ll have Reagan! Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!

Sometimes it troubles me that these are the things I would do if I could go back in time:

-Let all the comedians of the 70′s and 80′s know about the irony of what they’re doing
-Let all the comedians who were on The State and Mr. Show know about the irony of what they’re doing (They’re technically all aware of it now, but might as well turn David Cross infinitely bitter sooner rather then later)
-Try to stop JFK from being assassinated. Not to preserve a golden beacon of hope in the 60′s, but to create possibly the biggest paradox known to man. None of that grandfather killing bullshit.

Times You Had to go Home Early for Dinner

Going Away Parties are always strange affairs. When you’ve known someone for years, shared intimate moments with them, and driven around all night listening to shitty East-Coast Rap, the festivities involve gathering everyone together and possibly involving Music and Cake in the mix. When you’ve known someone for a little more then 2 months and all you really know about them is they’re the most leniant Manager you’ve ever had, the festivities involve gathering everyone together and possibly involving Music and Cake in the mix. The only difference is the mood at the latter is usually much more upbeat and the music doesn’t require extensive knowledge of inside jokes.

The cake is usually the best part though, especially in miniature form. If I’ve gotten anything out of moving to San Francisco, it’s a newfound appreciation of the art of Cupcake Making. The lady who runs the place we get all our party supplies from is working on perfecting Cupcakes with Filling Inside. The samples she gave us just made us want more, which I realize is the entire purpose of giving out samples, but if I have to buy into something, it might as well be cupcakes.

Coming Soon: The New Girl Talk Album, and why it isn’t as good as that other Girl Talk Album, Things that are not Musical, Chris Jericho and the Way Things Are Today

Pictures courtesy of the last time I ever saw my friends